Bloody Lymey

A Blog About Living with Lyme Disease

The Mystery of Flareups

on May 14, 2012

Each and every damp and rainy day for the past month has tortured me from within. The achy bones from the tips of my toes to the top of my neck. And? It’s untouchable. The best I could hope for is for Naproxen or Ibuprofen (or both) to ease it a little. A bath with epsom salts would make my joints more forgiving.

After a dry weekend, I woke up to rain today. Looking out the window, I rubbed my eyes. I stared in disbelief at my painless hands, bending and flexing my fingers in wonder. Why today? Not that I’m complaining. Just …. what did I do right? Is it really this random?

And what did I do some three years ago when I had a remission of 10 months? What was so special – just so I can do it again?

So thankful for this day. It was a pinch balmy and I wandered out into the misty drizzle and enjoyed its refreshing spray in my face and the dampness settling into my hair. It seems like eons since I’ve enjoyed rain – from its feeling to its smell and the way it perfumes the pavement, grass and lilacs. What a beautiful day indeed.

There. Short and sweet. That’s all.


6 responses to “The Mystery of Flareups

  1. Again, I have to respond as I feel the same way and continually amaze people with my ability to be so happy at the smallest things. I was this way before Lyme, but I think people find it harder to see that true smile or laugh as I am cover in a rash, herxing, vomiting for who knows what reason and then I can see my phlox spreading across the front yard and just feel thankful for the beauty. Even though I am now so sun sensitive that I cannot be in any sunlight (even near windows), the beauty of it invigorates me. The greenery of all the trees make me feel a bit more alive. But then again, I have never been greedy – I always knew what a gift life was; just now everything looks greener and brighter!

    • Becki says:

      So nice to hear from you. It’s hard to see life as a gift sometimes, but I think that’s why people with chronic lyme have heightened suicide rates. I wish everyone could see the good and look past the pain. I’m lucky to be in AA and to have a sponsor. By nature I’m a very negative person, but the combination of AA’s steps and my sponsor has shown me a new way of life and the pain of Lyme hastened some of my life’s lessons. 🙂

      • Wow, I never would have thought you a negative person, so kudos to both of you for your hard work. I judge nobody by their past as I come from an abusive, alcoholic household. Same with my cousins and they became alcoholics though are sober now. I broke the cycle of abuse, alcoholism and smoking and my girls have amazed me with their grace, humor, ability to drink without needing to get “drunk”, and to take care of themselves. Their true desire to help me and see me well shows everyday from their texts, emails, phone calls and visits. I can’t wait to hear more about your son as my girls were never afraid of slugs (salt took care of them), getting dirty or even catching mice – which was a game to them. xoxo

      • Becki says:

        Oh – and by feeling “lucky” I don’t mean that I would go wishing it on people so they can be “lucky,” too. LOL. I’m glad your daughters are alright. The compulsion to drink is astounding, just so hard to describe. I’m glad they don’t have it – and if they can control their drinking then they don’t. 🙂

      • Becki, it’s funny that you say that as I don’t not drink or smoke or have ever tried pot. But I do not judge, like I said. My oldest daughter, Amy, does not drink as she had Celiacs and is allergic to mold and her own yeast. Like me, she is not keen on the taste, so she does not feel like she is missing anything. My 23 old is a pro – if she is out with friends, she makes sure she takes a cab home rather than public transportation (Boston girl, just like I was), my 21 1/2 year old is not afraid to drink and can actually throw back a shot of tequila without the need of lime. Am I impressed? No, but I trust them and their boyfriends that they have been with going on 3 years (each of them). I also don’t mind my husband drinking beer and actually am entertained when he and my brother-in-law have too much of the good bourbon as they are funny and it is rare. I pray that you continue on this arduous journey – my cousin, Kris, has been sober 15 years and she still attends meetings and sponsors people. I find that incredible as when compared to Lyme you want to help others, but the disease limits you in ways you never expected. That is why I find it important to reach out to you and to do the same on Facebook. I feel the time has come for me to reach out and help where I can as it doesn’t look like I’ll be driving or working anythime soon. Love, Kath

      • Becki says:

        Yeah, helping others has been so helpful to ME, too. Sometimes people I know will ask me questions to relay to a friend of family member and they’re sometimes amazed by how much I do to help them, how much information I write down or my offers to visit, etc. But that comes from AA. It’s become intuitive.

        I’m actually keeping another blog, “Warm and Dry” about my alcoholism. It sort of is starting out how this one did – just to get it out . LOL. I got sober on January 2, 2003 and hope I never change the sobriety date. “1/2/03” or one-two-three is pretty cool. 🙂

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