Am I in remission now? Nooooooooo! [Stomping my foot, folding my arms and pouting]
But I was blessed with [I think] ten months of such a thing. It gave me hope. HOPE. You know what seemed a precursor to it? A crush. It sounds silly, but it was the first such crush I had experienced in years. When I say “crush,” I mean the heart-pounding, shaky, giddy, glowy kind.
You know what came next? Something that hadn’t happened in a while: adrenaline. If there was some kind of a confrontation or other cause for fight or flight, I would feel adrenalized like I had years ago. That shaky, charged up response.
There were times at work where my Lyme-induced hypothyroid seemed in overdrive. My face would flush and I couldn’t sit still. Working in a shelter at the time, it was cause for more physical work such as room searches. Desk work was NOT my forte those days.
In a couple of months, the crush that I started dating turned out to be a colossal jack ass. He was gone. Yay.
The energy, the painlessness persisted. I started to speak of it in the past tense. I thought I was OK. Permanently OK. For a weekend, I felt fatigued again. This time, it felt more like my thyroid and I’ll tell you why: I was cold. VERY cold and it was springtime. My son asked when we would get air conditioners. He was six. Out of the clear blue sky and some desperate nights on Google, I found an idea: Vitamin B. I tried a multi B complex and felt the familiar headache of my blood pressure returning to normal. My energy was back. I was back.
Again – no pain. No bed-ridden days. No lost evenings on the couch in a semi-conscious haze. This bliss lasted for months. Again – Lyme was something I spoke of in the past tense.
When the bell curve curved back in favor of fatigue and aches, I was going to Vegas. Mmmm. Full body heating pad. Dry heat. Energy. Painless with the exception of jacked up A/C in a restaurant or casino. Stepping outside resolved this. Feeling good lasted for a couple of months after I got back.
I got into a new relationship and there were weak knees – the good kind! – and heart palpitations (the good kind!!!) and I hoped this would stump my adrenal system into keeping me better and maybe improving me. But I was back in the specialist’s office (after having graduated some months before). I was back on Ceftin. And now the yeast infections were something to write home about again. I kept this under my hat because I feared some “insider trading scandal” with people buying shares of Monistat.
Now she tried Low Dose Naltrexone. False hope was reinstated. Two days after the first dose, I felt so good that I cried when people asked how I was doing. I thought maybe we got it now.
And I’ve been having ups and downs ever since. More downs than ups, but the downs are not nearly as far down as they were in 2008.
Does anyone recall periods of remission and being able to attribute it to something? I’d love to hear from you!!!!