I’ve been feeling just well enough to treat myself better.
Last night, I cooked myself a bangin’ good dinner – veggie quesadillas (sauteed summer squash, zucchini, peppers & onions with pepper jack cheese, guacamole & sour cream). It was sensational. For months, I’ve been wanting a “home-cooked meal” (that I made myself). I’m glad I felt good enough for this to come to fruition.
I am cleaning my house a bit, providing myself with a better environment. I’ve kept it clean-clean, but it’s been cluttered. The best I’ve been able to do is keep the bathroom cleanish and do the dishes so the place doesn’t smell.
I’m trying to find a good balance between knowing my limits and doing what I’m supposed to. Sometimes I have to stop and ask myself if I’m really not feeling up to snuff or if I’m just not used to doing things. I’ve ruled out laziness. My head races when I’m feeling okay and I want to achieve EVERYTHING. I want the house to be perfectly clean, every errand to be run, a nice cooked meal with everything cleaned up after …. I want to bring my son out of town and do something fun and … and…. and! I have to remember Rome wasn’t built in a day.
I just feel like I have so much living to do and so many unchecked responsibilities.
I’m getting there.
I’m hoping for a day when I can do normal things and take it for granted again. I’m hoping for a day when I don’t have to do things because “I’m feeling good today and need to seize the opportunity.” I’m hoping for a day when there’s more good days than bad. I’ve had those days before. I know I’ll have them again.
Is it too much to hope for that those days will last into old age?