I called my sponsor. The pain was severe and I still wasn’t sure what was wrong with me.
My sponsor is a short, older biker dude. In AA it’s unusual for a lady to have a male sponsor and vice versa. They always say men stick with the men, women stick with the women. I never understood that until long after I chose my sponsor. Have you ever gone to a bar and said hi to someone of the opposite sex? And then they thought they were going home with you? Yes. That still happens in AA. I get it. But there’s never been anything improper with Mike O. Never.
I called him on Mother’s Day and whined about the pain and they don’t know what’s wrong and when will this ever end and I can’t stand it ….
He chuckled in the way he always does when I have a problem. I love that about him. If anyone else did that, I’d probably feel belittled. The way HE does it makes me feel like, “Wow, that’s it?” It’s reassuring.
I stopped ranting. The chuckle is usually a tip-off he has something to say.
“Well, it’s Mother’s Day. Did you have a nice Mother’s Day?” He asked, steering me toward the bright-side.
“Yes. My son gave me a card and earrings ….. he’s sweet. I can’t handle the pain today and you have no idea what it’s like and I feel like I’m going to faint ….”
In a calm and steady tone he said this: “I bet there’s plenty of people having a shitty Mother’s Day. Call three.”
He hung up.
I held the phone furiously in my hand, my thoughts flying erratically all over.
‘How DARE he!? He doesn’t know how this feels! He’s never been through this before!’
But? I called two ladies from the halfway house who weren’t allowed to see their kids. I called a friend of mine whose mom had died that February (it was the first Mother’s Day without her). After that I felt pretty lucky. He helped me get outside of myself, off the pity-pot and so much more.
I used this incident as a template for many more low days. Calling someone and seeing how THEY are doing has helped me enormously.